January 30th, 1915 my Grandma was born. Tomorrow is January 30th, 2010.
Dates are significant sometimes, don't you think? Usually, they aren't that much to me, but for some reason tomorrow feels like it will be.
My Gram and I were so close. I love her so much and I miss her so very, very much. I was lucky, she lived with us most of my life.
She actually raised my sister and I.
My mom used to work nights and go to school during the day when my sister and I were little. My Dad ran his own business and my Gram was home at home to take care of us. She would feed us, walk us to the bus for school, greet us when we got home, it was the best.
As I got older, we watched Perry Mason and Murder She Wrote together, I know, but i watched for her.... Gram loved those shows. I laugh when I think back to watching them with her. She had seen them all before apparently, and she would tell me what was going to happen while we were watching.
I miss the days of just sitting with her in our living room, or in the backyard. I would ask her if she wanted something to drink or eat and bring it to her. I would take her to her favorite restaraunt for lunch sometimes, it was all simple, but so very precious.
She too was so simple, in such a great amazing way. No fuss with or from her for or about anything. She was so kind, so giving and completely unselfish. She was innocent and charismatic in her own special way.
Grand (Super S called her that) passed away in Spring of 2000.
When she went into Hospice she was not talking, she had a stroke, but was alert. I will never forget what she did when we got there....
There was a male nurse with us, he was good looking and Gram raised her eyebrows and eyes as to say " hey there hottie.." we laughed, boy did we laugh!
The place was a beautiful, amazing Hospice House. When I say house, it was actually a residential house. A special house for special people, a home- made into a place that would make people feel comfortable and safe. Its walls were filled with beautiful artwork from patient's families, pictures, poems, prayers... I just remember the peaceful feeling there.
While I was there I saw a little girl. A beautiful little girl, looked to be about 3 years old, playing with her family by the patio door. She was the patient.
I remember crying really hard after leaving that day, for Gram because I wanted her to stay awhile, and was not sure how much longer she'd be with us, but I cried even more for that innocent little girl.
At that time I had no idea how hard it would be for Super S and I to conceive, it had only been 2 years TTC at that time and I did not think too much about it yet.
But I did think of that little girl's parents... wondering how they were going to cope after she left? It was too much for me to handle. I said a prayer for her, for her family and honestly have not thought about her again, until I started writing this.
While I growing up, especially as a teenager, i was always concerned with my weight. I wasn't really overweight, but you know as a teen you think you are even if your not.
I remember saying sometimes "oh i look fat in this" or "I should lose some weight.." etc. Gram always said "you look beautiful... nothing else matters unless you have your health." She was so right. She always made me feel better and made things look and sound good, even if they weren't. Damn why can't more people be that way today?
So I know January 30th will be a wonderful day tomorrow, I feel it. Gram I love and miss you so much lady.... Your birthday will be a special one for me tomorrow.
This is what I keep next to my bed.... it was a box I gave her and I have a few items of hers I keep inside...
A keychain we had made she used to carry
A little handkerchief and her wedding ring
The wrist band she wore while in Hospice
Her prayer beads