Friday, March 26, 2010

8w6d- I will be a wonderful mother

I was reading my girl Venting Vagina's blog and she posted a beautiful tribute she read on someone elses blog and to me its more than beautiful.

For many of us who have been at this for some time, this is perfectly put into words how we may be feeling as we hopefully approach motherhood. 

It also reminds me of all of you, who have made this journey so much more meaningful with all of your heartfelt comments and concerns. My father says when his faith in humanity weakens, he visits my blog and reads all of your comments and his faith in good people  is restored. He is amazed, as am I, at how awesome all of you are. Thank you. Thank you for being so awesome.

* Ultrasound on Wednesday, March 31st, will be 9w4d. It can't get here soon enough man let me tell you!

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss, and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better. I will be better not because of genetics, or money, or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child. I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life. I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see. Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love. I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes. I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I WILL be a wonderful mother.

- Author Unknown


  1. I love that more each time I read it. Thanks for sharing it.

    Counting down to Wednesday with you with lots of good thoughts being sent your way.

  2. That is beautiful and i totally agree with it. You will be a wonderful mother. I just love that you willed these babies to stick with you. You proclaimed 2010 to be your year and here it is. Can't wait to hear about the ultrasound!

  3. I can't believe I haven't been able to visit for so long. I miss you.
    Twins? TWINS!!! WOOO HOOO!
    This post has touched me in a way I didn't expect. The line about being a mother to a child you gave birth to or a child God leads to you... Of course it made me think of my adoptive mother and the pain she must have suffered after having a miscarriage and lost ability to become pregnant. Stuff I don't like to think about but need to.
    So happy for you.

  4. Tears just rolling down my face. Sigh.

  5. I had seen that before and it's truly beautiful. You will be a wonderful mother and I am so happy to have you among my friends, your support is something else and you are in my thoughts always. Fran

  6. That is beautiful! And you will be a wonderful mother...

  7. Yes, you will :)

    I can't wait for your appt either!!

  8. That was great! Thanks for posting and I'm certain you will be a wonderful mother!

  9. That is beautiful. It is also true. So very true. Not one second of my pregnancy or my daughter's life has gone by unappreciated or taken for granted. Even when I have to get up with her in the middle of the night, I am grateful that I have a daughter to get up for. When she throws tantrums, I smile and laugh because I have been given the opportunity to experience them. When she tests my patience, it is restored 100 fold when I look at that face and think how blessed I am to have a daughter to throw tantrums. I hug her tighter, I hold her longer, I smile at her more. I know I do this because she was so hard won.

    Yes, blogs DO reaffirm that there is compassion and caring. I am so glad to be a part of this community not only to be supported, but to support and share in everyone's triumphs as well as in their low moments. This is love. It is why we are here.

  10. There is always an opportunity for compassion through suffering - we just have to look outside ourselves. We are all interconnected.


  11. Awww I love that your dad comes here and reads the comments! So awesome!

    I love that poem, so beautiful. There is NO doubt in my mind you will be an AMAZING mother and already are!

  12. That was beautiful!! Thank you for posting that. You will be a wonderful mother. There is absolutely no doubt about that.

  13. There is not a single doubt in my mind that you're going to be a wonderful mother! You are already!

    Beautiful...thank you for sharing!

  14. That was so beautiful, and so true. You will be a wonderful mother!

    I'm looking forward to your updates and to seeing you through a happy, healthy pregnancy.


  15. That was so beautiful, thank you for sharing! I'm so thankful to have bloggers like you to share this journey with & who understand the special appreciation that comes from becoming a parent after struggling with infertility!

  16. thanks for the shout out! this is us, girl! it's true! we're becoming mothers! yaaaaay!


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