Seeing double while sweating

Just got back from another evening sweat walk to the souk. I went alone, Super S is outside visiting with friends and we needed some yogurt, so I thought good chance to take an evening stroll.

On my way back home two girls about 10 years old, holding hands, smiling, dressed in matching fucshia dresses walked by me. They were identical twins.

I thought about their mother, did she have to do IVF, did she struggle with infertility, or did twins just run in their family?

I thought about our 7 transfers. I thought about the 7 times that we could have maybe had twins. Maybe identical too. The thoughts that occupied my mind while walking, were of my babies. The babies that I never had, the babies that I long for, the babies I pray and wish for every day.

Maybe, just maybe someday i can dress my girls in fucshia dresses too.

West Desert Oasis' in Egypt

I came across this article in the Wall Street Journal online and have decided this is our next excursion here in Egypt. Its a place called Siwa, its sounds and looks awesome!

We have been to the Western Desert before, but to a place called the Bahariya Oasis. The article describing the Bahariya Oasis is spot on. I laughed as I read it. Especially the dancing in the desert part, we so did that. The bedouins take you into the desert, tents are set up, you eat, drink tea, they sing, play drums and people dance. On that trip it was Super S and I, some German and Japanese tourists, we were probably like 8 altogether. The Japanese lady was amazed at how one the Bedouins was able to shake his hips like he was... she was looking at him, down at his hips to see how he did it. Super S and I still laugh when we remember this... I guess you had to be there.

We actually became friends with one of the bedouin guides. He took us to his house, we ate with him and his family and we kept in touch with him from the USA with him for some years. We've lost touch now, but I bet we will find him easily once we go back, wouldn't that be cool?

I always remember the visit to his house, and still tell the story of it today. It was just my second time visiting Egypt. I was amazed with the culture, people and history of the country. At his house I was introduced to his wife and her sisters. At that time my Arabic was like two words, so it was fun "talking" to them. They kept saying "Am-ree-ca" I just smiled. The roof of their house was palm leaves, and like two rooms. The kitchen was tiny and she had a ring type thing for fire, no stove. So i just stood around and smiled and felt the sincere warmth of my hosts. I swear these ladies were so hospitable and  welcoming, just happy to see me, some of the nicest people I have ever met.

Then they brought out this huge tray of food to the other room, we all sat down and ate. I remember saying to Super S later, "I bet they don't eat like that often" and feeling very humbled. They made it a special and a very memorable visit for us.

After Ramadan we always go to our favorite spot Dahab, but am thinking maybe to travel to Siwa to check it out. Maybe we can make some new friends there too.

Just another Friday night in Cairo

Oh yeah. Big fun tonight.

A great Friday night in Ramadan, humid as hell but just lovely otherwise.

Just came back from a walk to the souk. (Yes its after midnight now, you'd never know it by all the people out, Cairenes love the night and not only in Ramadan, me too actually) I am soaking wet as if I took a shower and my head pounding and I have thoughts of "choice" words as I remember all the craZy youth 25 and under gathered EVERYWHERE here in this beautiful little compound where we live. I love young people, don't get me wrong, but they hang out waaay too much with what it seems like nothing.at.all. to do.

They ride ATC's like we're on a beach, motorbikes like they're at a track and it just gets alittle crazy. Throw in Ramadan and the night here is NUTS man. Its beautiful for some, night prayers, family gatherings, but the kids seem to increase in the streets and again are not doing anything constructive. I'm not saying don't hang out a few nights a week,  go ahead. But its everynight. Not only in Ramadan either.

Its funny sad to hear F bombs and other choice English words being dropped by kids walking down my street. Who would of thought, here in Egypt? Yes ma'am. Where we live a big majority of expats and Egyptians who lived abroad in the USA or Europe live here.

But I see these kids here, where I live, act so much differently than kids in "greater" Cairo, and not in a good way. Again not all, of course- but alot.

Youth are youth I guess where ever you live, but I had hopes for some reason that kids would be better here. Don't ask me why.....

Now I don't want to paint this ghetto picture, because thats not what it is, at all. Its an extremely beautiful place, where alot of, not all, kids just seem not to know what to do with themselves. They seem like they need some direction, something fun to do. We do have a club here, most people belong to it, they could go play soccer, play paintball, pool, run track, swim... but oh wait, thats not cool right?

Anyway, just made an Egyptian mimosa- orange juice, 7-up and hibiscus juice, nice and refreshing. I'll finish up and then get to bed...breakfast before fasting is around 4am!

You gotta check out Teddy!

See how awesome ICLW is, i found this incredible blog Teddy Lifeslurper, ttc .

This is way too good not to share. If you haven't checked it out its freakin hilarious! A true refresher that we all must treat ourself to at least a few times a week.

LOVE IT! Love you Teddy! A new favorite indeedy!

Dirty Clothes Increasing and THE Cheesecake

Well this fiasco is finally closed.

So two delivery guys come yesterday. Super S opened the carton before they even carried it upstairs... what did he see? The floor model from the store!!! No joke. No packing materials, the blue plastic protective film was not there, it was like they took off the showroom floor, put into a box and brought it to us. He told them to take it away as well as the damaged first one upstairs.

We go to the store. Talked to the manager and after 15 minutes or so of trying to explain to him what happened, and his lame excuses, he told us they will re-open from 9-11pm and we can pick up our money then. We told him we think you sent us the floor model as it isn't here now, oh no he assured us that was sold a long time ago. (it was just there three days ago, and these washers are not as popular with many people here so i am not buying you sold it that fast)

Anyway later we picked up our refund, the manager did not even acknowledge us when we were there again, his emplyee gave us the refund. The funniest thing... the floor model was magically back on the showroom floor!!!!

So we are off once again to find a new washer and NOT from this large retailer, i will never give them a penny again! Wish us luck.

The cheesecake, four words "Gram would be proud." Unbelievably yummy! Super S said to me, "I did not expect this..." I was like "you thought it would suck?" He said  "No, but this is exactly like cheescake". Um, yeah it is cheesecake baby. So again, not beautiful but so, so so super damn good!

Dirty Clothes and Cheesecake

I really have to laugh this washer fiasco off. If i don't laugh I think i would cry.

Nothing today. No call, nada.

I call the store, they said they remembered us and would call back in 5 minutes, that was like 7 hours ago! I tried calling back several times, no answer. I have the mobile number for the manager, tried calling, it was switched off the recording told me.

An hour after I spoke with the store Super S called the main number for this company and made a complaint. They said to him we will "settle this for you the way you want" within 24 hours.

Um, the way we want?

Super S wants to forget this outfit and get a refund. They are a big retailer here and are usually reputable, I told him lets just wait and see. I normally would be so in agreement with him, saying screw em, but i REALLY like this washer and these American made/top loading are not easy to find here.

Anyway we'll see what tomorrow brings. Hopefully a washer maybe?

Today I decided to make my Grandmothers famous cheesecake. Let me preface this by saying her cheesecake was THE best cheesecake in the world. She was quite famous to anyone who was lucky enough to try it.

My dad gave me a photo copy of her hand written recipe, I've had it for awhile... I cried while I was making it. She is no longer alive (passed away in 2000) but just looking at her handwriting made me miss her even more. We were so close, I loved her so much. She kind of raised my sister and I as she lived with us. She cooked for us, walked us to the bus for school, greeted us when we got home, she was an amazing lady! I miss her so much.

Sooooo....

I followed her directions to a "T".

And what I made looks NOTHING like her cheesecake. at.all.

I would post a pic but am too embarassed really. Its in the fridge chilling now but I have a feeling its going to be awesome, cause I'm such a great baker like that. Not. I LOVE to cook, but not bake.

I'll let you know how it tastes later, and I may just post the recipe later. But maybe not.

Clothes are piling up

They were suppose to call today before delivering the new washer and picking up this wonderfully damaged one, its 11:15PM no call.

This is not strange. I was thinking they may just call before midnight and say they will be here in an hour. Cairo is crazy like that. Those of you that read along here know I have had an RE appotintment or two at 11PM at night in the past.

We plan to go to the store tomorrow and see what the problem is. I assume they will not call tonight.

Its the second day of Ramadan (رمضان ) here and schedules are adjusted a bit during this month. It is the most beautiful place in the world, Cairo that is, during Ramadan. Fasting is from morning (approx. 4am) to sundown (approx. 6:30PM) each day. At sundown the fast is broken with a meal, usually with friends and family.

You see lots of colorful lights everywhere (like Christmas lights in other places) on houses, in shops its really festive.

There is something called a fanous here, it is the symbol of Ramadan in Cairo and the rest of the Muslim world. Fanous is the Arabic word for lantern. The fanous is similar to the old stype lamp, and it used to be lit by a candle instead of oil. Today they are lit by electric bulbs. They are generally made of brass and colored glass and range in size from small to really large. They used to be all handmade here in Egypt, but now like many other things, they import them from China. You can still find the authentic Egyptian made ones, but it is very rare and not easy to find.

Heres our fanous in the garden. See the babies sleeping in the second picture...more pics of the kitties soon.

Welcome ICLW and can i just get my washer please

Hey and welcome if this is your first time to visit via ICLW for August. I love this ICLW as we get to discover so many new blogs and meet some great people!

We are taking an IVF break hoping to resume in a few months. Just read the right column for the quick low down on our infertility struggles. And just so you know, when we are not doing IVF trials this blog is really about life here in Cairo, Egypt. Some people really seem interested, who would of thought.

Ok about the washer... check this out.

So our washer that we brought here to Cairo with us from the USA died earlier this year. I have been doing laundry at a family members or sending to cleaners in the interim. We have been checking washers and wanting one similar to the dead one and have really taken our time to find one. Well we found one, an American made, top loading one like I prefer. We bought it Monday and it was delivered yesterday, Thursday.

The delivery guy came, (one -1- guy ok) and he loaded the washer onto to his BACK and carried up to the third floor! They don't set it up or install it, we have to get a plumber for that. I know sweet huh?

Anyway the back carrying probably has you thinking "what?" But thats not the point of this washer story. This is usual transport here, one guy carrying the heaviest things on his back, crazy i know. Even if there is more than one guy, the others usually "supervise" the one guy carrying the heavy item on his back. Until we say something of course. But this time only one guy.

Anyway, so he left washer in stair landing outside what we have made our laundry room. Got his madatory tip cause he did so much work, then he left.

Super S goes to open the protective carton and the washer is dented severely in the front and back and the top of the washer is separated from the bottom of washer, its supposed to be intact. When i say dented I should say its totally concave like a boulder was dropped on front on back panels of the washer.

So we went to the store, its 5 minutes away, and told them. They will bring a new washer and take the damaged one back on Sunday. When I told the manager that the guy carried it up the stairs on his back that could have had something to do with it... his comment in Arabic to my husband was "oh I know him (the delivery guy) he is really aggresive and not careful..." and he apologized for him. He also told us we should open carton before delivery guy leaves. Um thanks, of course we should have. We buy a brand new appliance and we should of course open to be sure this new appliance is intact and all is good.

I told the manager to please send more than one guy and let them carry it upstairs upright. He smiled.

In Cairo, a moment of serenity amid the cacophony

Jeffrey Fleishman is the Cairo Bureau chief for the Los Angeles Times. His articles always capture the true essence of Cairo living.

This article is especially wonderful, its so descriptive and just transports you to Cairo. He really did sum up a typical day in Cairo up so well.

Perfect Moment Monday: First Response

You familiar with this product? Beside telling a woman 'she is', it supposedly tells when your ovulating and possibly fertile. I will send this Express mail if you want.

http://firstresponse.com/

The above email was sent to me by my Dad. How sweet is that? Made me cry....

He knows of our struggle with infertility, well the best he can anyway. (he is the only family member that reads my blog) He doesn't quite get all the details, and why should he anyway right, too darn complicated.

Wouldn't it be great if I could just use an ovulation test and bam pregnant I am? Those days are long gone unfortunately...

So thanks Dad for offering, but we need more than a test at this point....I'll explain the details later, if you want. Love ya!

* Do you have a Perfect Moment this Monday? Go visit Weebles Wobblog to post yours.

really letting go... at No Regrets

I have so much I want to say about Brenda at No Regrets latest post, but for now until I can articulate and put into words what she stirred up in me, I share with you possibly THE best post ever about letting go after the crazy ride of IVF and living with infertility.

Ready yourself- get a box of tissues, be prepared to be wow'ed and get ready for what her beautiful writing will stir up in you.

Read really letting go @ No Regrets

Drinking in the Land of Mommy Blogdom

Okay so from the title you must know it is not about me. One- i don't drink, two- I am not a Mommy... yet.

But Stefanie over at Baby on Bored is a Mommy who USED to drink.

Anyway a great article in the New York Times about her.... a great read!

She also has an excerpt from her new book, "Its Not Me, Its You" on her blog now, a super funny read. This book is a must bring to me in Cairo when my Mom comes in the Spring. Unless of course FEDEX magically delivers me a copy...

* EDIT- Aunt Becky from Mommy Wants Vodka was mentioned in the article, although I think the mention was misleading. If you know the Beckster you will agree. Well maybe.

Visiting with an Egyptian mother

The other day we went to visit a friend of Super S's. The drive was like an hour and a half outside Cairo. It was a beautiful drive to a place called Ismailia, a very cute little city . Its famous for its locally grown mangoes and strawberries too. (Its mango season here now...100's of different kinds to choose from) 

In Ismailia there are lots of 19th century colonial styled houses and beautiful tree lined streets. The corniche along the water is decorated with outdoor gazebos, just a great place to spend a day or two... we'll be visiting again. It has a smaller town charm to it, although there is estimated to be 750,000 plus living there. But i guess when compared to Cairo at approx. 18 million, yeah its a small town.

What i want to share you with you is the conversation with the friend's wife.

Nice girl, mid-twenties, very cute, from the country side, rural area outside of Cairo. She's been married two years, has a two year old and 2 month old. Cutest little kids by the way.

With her brief command of English and my ever so broken Arabic we spoke for hours. In addition to the "how is America, how do you like living in Egypt" questions, the MAIN and ALWAYS asked questions "How long have you been married? How many kids do you have?" ruled most of our conversation.

ME:

"Yes its true I've been married 13 years and yes we do not have kids yet..."

"Yes we have seen doctors and we have tried many treatments..."

"And yes I agree it is all up to God...."  Along with many other comments in the 4 plus hours we talked.

SHE:

"You can take the 2 year old with you, take him.... You can take the baby too. I am so tired, i don't know what to do. "

"The 2 year old does not listen, he is so active"

"I don't sleep." "My husband doesn't help me." "We don't get out enough.." (Again, along with many other comments in the 4 plus hours we talked)

Man! I was tired listening to her.

I tried to comfort and encourage her. But you know the sad thing is I always hear these same sad statements.

Is this a cultural thing? I mean do only Egyptian ladies have these complaints, of course not. I know Egyptians, Americans and a whole bunch of ladies from other countries that have never had any of these complaints, and Mothers who are not from here with these very complaints.

While some mothers do have these types of complaints, it hurts me to hear them, not only because I long for my own children. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel these mothers are unappreciative, no not at all. They are just struggling trying to find their groove with parenthood I guess.

I sometimes wonder if I were a mother, and I was not consumed did not struggle with infertility, would I say these same things? The answer is a definite no. For so many reasons..... I know that my husband would always be involved. I know I would try my best to raise them in such a way that they would listen and behave and I would try to understand their energy and stimulate their minds. And really I would appreciate the fact that I have children and would thank God everday for the blessing.

Now i imagine being a Mother is not always easy, i mean come on even those of us who are not mothers know this. Remember when we were kids? Our mothers, how we drove them cRaZy? Well some of us maybe...

Do i know that kids are kids and not perfect in everyway? Do i know that it would be trying at times? Do i know i would feel a rollercoaster of things positive and perhaps even negative sometimes? Do i know that my time, money and circumstances would change? Do i know my life as I know it would never be the same again?

Yes.

Yes I am aware of all of these things.

Yes again.

Still I long for the day man... I will take all the things that come along with being a parent, good and bad challenging.

My hat is off to all you Mothers, your job is not an easy one, but it is one I want and I admire you so much for giving it your best shot always. I hope to join you one day...

We iz catz burglerz!

( moar funny pictures at icanhazcheesburger.com)


So thanks to Kym's brilliant idea our little burglerz are shooting to be cheezburgerz stars... Go rate em 5 cheezburgerz and lets see if they make it to the homepage!

The babies are getting bigger!

What's an infertility blog without pets, LOL right?

Look how big the babies are getting! They are climbing like crazy, eating dry food, and as active as ever.

I took these last week.

Fiona and Naranja eating Egyptian fateer with milk for breakfast. LOL i thought i'd see if they like, it they LOVED it!

Fiona and Naranja finishing off the fateer.

Climbing session, Amelia won!

They were lovin' it!

Naranja, our favorite little guy!

Going crazy on the couch.

Charlie posing for the camera.

All four were sleeping in a row. E.T. wanted to smile for the picture.

Naranja, is there anything cuter?

Florenzo... Our original big boy. He is not interested AT ALL in the kittens. He looks at them and leaves right away. We try to give him lots of love so he doesn't feel left out.

Baby croc scares plane passengers

A baby crocodile caused panic on a flight from Abu Dhabi to Cairo when it escaped from a passenger's luggage, Egyptian airport officials say.

Passengers screamed as the crocodile, measuring about 30cm (1ft), made its way down the cabin before eventually being captured by crew members.

All passengers on the Egypt Air flight were questioned about the reptile, but none admitted taking it on board.

The crocodile was handed to local authorities when the plane landed.

Reports said it will be donated to a local zoo.

Never give up

Reading my email tonight and among all the store weekend sales and mailing lists i am on, one email made me smile. The newsletter from ivf.ca. It contained THE best quote ever....

"Anyone can give up its the easiest thing in the world to do.

But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart,

that's true strength."

Doesn't that just describe so many of our journeys? Sure some of us held hold it together better than others, and some of us have do really fall apart, but true strength indeed is not giving up. Even when it feels like nothing else is possible and giving up is the only option, it isn't. I know sounds easy, but I think its true...

I am not giving up, ever.

And don't you either ok? Whatever it is you are longing for a baby, a new job, world peace, good health, healing, whatever it is, don't give up hope. Let us promise each other that tonight.