Boy, has it been a crazy few weeks!!!
First off, I don't think I am cut out to be a teacher. Not a teacher of young children who don't speak English anyway. This is THE hardest job I have ever had! As some of you know I did a jungle theme and boy is it ever a jungle in there!
I am having a REALLY hard time ladies, really hard. I cannot get my classroom under control whatsoever! I have great ideas, lesson plans, activities, but I can not even get to some of them somedays because I can't get the kids to even sit down or be quiet.
I come home wiped everday, tired, crying some days, and physically and metally exhausted! I have come so close to giving up way too many times in the past two weeks and today I was there again.
Today they wrote in crayon all over one of the tables, I didn't even see them do it, but my co-teacher was at that table! My co-teacher, (the first one quit- then I was a week alone without anyone except for a few floaters for a few periods) so yeah, my new co-teacher as of yesterday is such a nice girl. Young girl still in university, but supa dupa extra shy and quiet. The kids ate her alive.... I need someone who, like her, loves kids, but they must be able to raise their voice and be assertive when need be, which is often at this point.
So here it is.. I don't want to give up, I love the kids, really I do, but I feel if I can't get my classroom management under control and FAST its a loss. A loss and let down to myself and a loss to the kids for sure.
And yes i do have a reward/discipline system, i use a time out chair when need be, they are good for that moment when I sit them down and ask them if they understand why they are here, and say that they will not repeat this again, blah blah blah...then 10 minutes later as if nothing ever happened, back to business! I am consistent, so thats not it....what in the heck am I doing wrong...is it the language? Is it too soon to expect anything better? Man, i just don't know....
Anyway, IVF number six on hold for now. Not sure if we will do this month or not, we'll see. I just can't even imagine doing IVF when I am so stresssed and you know we have to be "ready" in all ways for this too. So we shall see.
Okay, I feel alittle better now, and i left out so many details to spare you my daily horrors...but you get the idea.
I miss you all and love ya and will visit your blogs soon! xoxoxoxoxo
Monday, October 20, 2008