Thursday, July 6, 2006

Some thoughts

So the wonderful Fertile Soul leaves this comment on my blog, and it warrants a post of its own. She is always so insightful; I am so glad I found her blog. So she left the following:

Anyway, I was wondering, do you ever feel then, if it didn’t work out so far, why would an ivf change anything? I mean, if it wasn’t meant to happen, why would ivf make it so? If God didn’t grant it after all this trying and hoping and wanting and crying, why would ivf trump it?

I believe (me), not saying if you disagree you're wrong, but MY belief is that IVF alone will not be successful. Nothing can trump God , if it does, He made it do it so.

NOTHING is successful or unsuccessful unless God Wills it. So IVF too, will be successful IF it’s meant for any us to have a child.

Natural child birth, IVF, adoption and foster children, these are bounties from God if He Gives us children by any of these means. If we are meant to have children, which ever way we get them, then it is a gift from God, part of His Plan for us.

So for me, when IVF2 is successful, I will thank God for the blessing and know that I was supposed to give birth to twins (subliminal hope) by His Will… IVF.

I know that nothing happens without God's permission. I also know that God never gives us anything that we can not bear, as hard it seems sometimes. There is indeed a reason for everything, good and bad. And when it gets so bad, or seems hopeless, we have to remember there is wisdom in everything. We may not be able to see that wisdom at that moment, but in time it will sometimes appear. This has happen to me on numerous occasions, something tragic, or upsetting and then later down the line I see the significance and actual good I gained from it.

I am not preaching, I don't do that. Just sharing what I believe and not asking you to agree or disagree, just blogging some thoughts.....

So for me, I guess this could sum it up from portions of an article I read online ( what I wanted to say above but not as eloquent…):

Everything is from Him. Simple, yet so important and powerful. Everything is from God. When we attempt to understand our lives in this way, through the eyes of tawheed, (monotheism- the belief in one God) with God as the ultimate cause of everything, quite naturally we will seek understanding in our lives. We know God creates everything, we know God is the primary cause behind everything, and we know that God is the Most Merciful and the source of ultimate good. Thus, with everything that occurs in our lives, might we ask “what are we to learn, Lord, and how should we respond to that which You have willed?” From this vantage point, we will naturally yearn to know what God wants us to do, which in fact we already have the answer for: to know Him.

One of the important roles that hardship plays in life is to facilitate introspection, to help us look toward the inside and better understand our innermost selves and hearts. When we experience tragedy or calamity, often the first thing we do is go inside ourselves, seeking understanding and solace. It is an important soulful activity that must be done in order to fully realize our humanness...

Resilience is the unique ability to cope with hardship and trial. The prophets of God, however, were not examples of resilience. They did not merely cope with the arduous tasks and trials that they were given. They did not merely survive, they transformed. Transformation, not resilience, is what we need today. We need not only the ability, skills, and knowledge to cope with what is happening around and to us, but we must use our resources to improve ourselves as well as those around us for universal betterment. This is the true Prophetic example.


  1. Wow. This really puts everything into perspective. Thank you so much !

  2. Excellent article, and so true. Who wrote it?

    I wrote a huge long comment and now blogger deleted it. But excellent point about transformation. I learned so much about myself from infertility and i would never give that up. And i learned so much more when we found out we had permanent infertility (no hope whatsoever, but things have since changed). All this time i had delayed ivf in part because i was afraid of having to deal with the loss of a failed ivf. And here i was suddenly dealing with the loss of all my children and grandchildren. I learned and gained so much in that mourning. And that was the most perfect test by the good grace of God because it gave me the courage to actually try ivf (when it miraculously became an option again). I knew i could handle the failure of a single ivf, when i just handled the complete failure of fertility.

    But sometimes, it's like, but why another another ivf? Why cant it just work out? What does it mean then?

    I know, i know i'm talking in circles (take out the wet noodle). Sometimes i wonder, if this test ends and we have success, how will i ever learn again? Or worse, what new test will i have to face? And isnt it better to face the test you know then a wild unknown one?

    But it goes back to transformation. And it makes you wonder, which do you prefer, a transformation (through tests) or the success of your worldly wants?

    I want a transformation. (I do! And i'm so inspired by this article.) I just pray that i transform in time for me to experience the success of this worldy want because i am at times a material girl :)

    Thanks for the talk and for the comments of others. It's helped so much.

    God bless.

  3. Oh, one final thought (sick of me yet?) ... I raised the question about basically saying that if God didnt give you kids so far why would tomorrow be different. Tomorrow can be different. The past does not equal the future (no matter what my math mind likes to imply). And moreover, we do not know the will of God. So, even if He chose not to grant kids in the past, that truly says nothing about the future.

    I know this, but sometimes my raging hormones take over and then there is chaos in the blogosphere.

  4. Fertile Soul, you know whether or not this IVF rollercoaster is a test for us (I think its safe to say it indeed is) there will be more girl, this isn't the last test for us.

    Our entire life is a test. A test to see how we deal with both the good and the bad, the pretty and ugly and on and on....

    We have to accept both the good and bad and know there is a reason and a plan from God, whether good or bad comes to us.

    Don't get me wrong, we are human after all and feel emotions, upset, mad, frustrated, etc. But deep down after we experience these emotions we know that God will prevail and show us the wisdom someday. It takes time, but increasing your faith and praying with sincerity makes this easier and easier.

    If God wanted, He could have made our lives perfect, made us all the same, give us everything we yearn for....but what fun what that be?

    Our worldly wants are just that, worldy. But some of these wants help us in our transformation that you talked about. Think about it....

    Try to accept this hard, trying life we all have, and hold on to the thought of someday all of this chaos making sense to us..... I know it will.


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